living off the land part 1

joe's dream is to "live off the land". he doesn't really want to be a farmer - just have magical trees and land that produce fruit so that he can reap the harvest. he gets really excited whenever we pass some kind of a farm and screams "i want that!!!!"

so when we saw that there are gazillion chestnut trees here in krakow, he got a bit excited. he will drive around looking for a chestnut tree and try to pull over every time he discovers one. which got to be a bit dangerous. one rainy sunday, he was determined to collect some. he went out with a broom in one hand and returned with some of his finds. when he got to the tree, there was an old lady who was also collecting them as well- the competition was on! unfortunately, old Polish grandma's are faster and better at collecting chestnuts than a city boy from new york. anyhow, he was able to return with handful of them.

we were convinced at that point that the chestnuts joe picked up were edible. why else would an old lady be picking them up in the rain??? so without thinking too much, we popped them in the oven and baked them. when it came out, joe handed them over to me and i opened one and popped it in my mouth.

i ran straight to the sink and spit it out.

me: "ummmmm.... i don't think we're suppose to be eating them."
joe: "is it not ripe? or is it not cooked enough?"
me: "i don't know but it just doesn't taste right. my mouth tastes so bitter now. gross."
joe: "hmmm. maybe we should look it up online."

few minutes later.

joe: "yeah, you're not suppose to eat them. it's called horse chestnut or buck eye and it's toxic - it apparently thins or kills red blood cells. . . .. sooorrryyy."
me: "**%$#@!!! thanks alot!"

so much for living off the land. this is what happens when you have cityslickers trying to be one with the nature.

after much research, we were able to locate "real" chestnuts here - hidden inside the zoo. joe is now preparing for next year so that he can go to the zoo during the peak time to pick up more "real" chestnuts.
can you tell the difference? one is the toxic buck eye and the other, yummy chestnut.

oh yeah, and you are probably wondering why in the world the old lady was picking up the toxic chestnuts in the rain. apparently, it's every Polish child's duty to create an animal using these things as a craft project. though my love for crafts run deep, i will not be utilizing any material that almost killed me.

i have no doubt in my mind that if i'm lost in the wilderness, no amount of watching "man vs. wild" will save me. or joe for that matter. sad, but true.